The Company of St. Ursula In the United States

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Tending the vine – Awareness

There’s too much stuff in my mind! Bus schedules – that nasty remark – global warming – my playlist – Christmas shopping…. Oops! Didn’t call Aunt Jean on her birthday. Oops! The maple leaves fell. Oops! What was he saying? Oops! It’s midnight, and I didn’t have time to pray today.

Busy life…busy mind…so many intrusions. Are they running my life? Do they soak up my spirit? Do they shove aside my relationships – even with God? Am I passing through life without noticing?

I want to be aware of life, of my true self. I want to be aware of others, of my world. I want to be aware of God.

A WISDOM-TEACHER

Interior awareness was not any easier “once upon a time.” Time, silence, and awareness must have been a challenge for Angela Merici.

Her friend Agostino Gallo observed her habits during the time when she lived with his family. There were countless demands on her. He commented on the “very many” people who sought her out “morning to evening,” for whom her presence was “always a great joy.” Angela listened deeply to each person. With each she shared a warmth and light that she found in God.

How did she cultivate awareness? Gallo gives us clues: Angela regularly devoted certain times to prayer, especially in the morning and the evening. She went to places where she could focus. She attended Mass daily and remained in the church afterward. She would go to her room for times of private prayer and spiritual reading, especially at night. After she moved to an apartment by the Church of St. Afra, Angela sometimes prayed alone at night in its quiet crypt.

Angela did not leave her interior life to chance. Her days flowed in a rhythm of prayer and presence. In prayer she found God’s presence. She brought that awareness to others through her attentiveness to them.

REFLECTING and DOING

1) Writing about Dorothy Day, Robert Ellsberg describes her as “Steeped in prayer, yet totally present to the person beside her.” Listen to the person you are with as you think Jesus might listen to him or her.

2) Go outside. Slowly let each of your senses, one by one, absorb and respond to your surroundings.

3) Picture someone with whom you have a deep and authentic relationship. Remember an occasion when you drew closer. Is there any danger of your taking this relationship for granted? Do you wish to continue deepening this relationship? What step can you take today in that direction?

4) Repeat the process in #3, reflecting on your relationship with God.

5) Music, even peaceful and inspirational music, comes from outside ourselves (unless we’re composers). Find a quiet place or time without music. Feel the silence. Listen to your breathing. Listen to your heartbeat.

6) Take some time to listen to the sounds around you, especially the ones that you don’t ordinarily notice.

7) Think of a person who is so focused and attentive that in his/her presence you know you are fully received. Give thanks.

SCRIPTURE PATHS

1) Read a Gospel passage. Imagine yourself present, listening to Jesus in Palestine. Read the passage again, visualizing him present in the room or place where you are now.

2) Do you ever feel guilty “just” praying instead of “doing something”? “As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary, who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.’ The Lord said to her in reply, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her’” (Luke 10:38-42).

3) Jesus shows deep, careful awareness of another person when he meets a blind man in Bethsaida. “When they arrived at Bethsaida, they brought to him a blind man and begged him to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. Putting spittle on his eyes he laid his hands on him and asked, ‘Do you see anything?’ Looking up he replied, ‘I see people looking like trees and walking.’ Then he laid hands on his eyes a second time and he saw clearly; his sight was restored and he could see everything distinctly” (Mark 8:22-25).

4) “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:11).

PRAYER

1) On a piece of paper, list several concerns or interests that tend to occupy your mind and distract you from prayer. Fold the paper and put it aside, with the prayer, “God, please take care of all these matters for the next half hour.” Then turn yourself toward God. If any of those items (or others) return to your mind, gently pat the paper and turn back to God. Repeat as needed.

2) If you went to dinner with a friend, would you accept a cell phone call with the comment, “Sure I can talk. I’m just with ______”? In fact, wouldn’t you prefer to turn off your cell phone? Make a date with God/Jesus. What time of day can you count on regular time with God? Consider
            * your natural rhythms of energy and alertness,
            * the usual schedule of your work or family life,
            * times when you are least likely to be interrupted, or most likely to be able to control interruptions.